About me, my little World

Hi, my name is Julie and welcome to my blog, this site is about me and my journey through life as transgender, for you who don't know what transgender is an umbrella term for persons whose gender identity, gender expression or behaviour does not conform to that typically associated with their sex at birth and is not a mental illness. For me, I was born both sexes, with a male body but in my mind, there are two sexes in-side which take it in turns to be able to express themselves.

I discovered Julie when I was about eleven years old, it's like finding out that you have a twin, and she was hiding in the background, I knew I had a feminine side, but I didn't realize that Julie was to become a real person. It's a bit like looking into a mirror and seeing your reflection but as the opposite sex looking back at you, yes dressing up as a girl did help me to discover Julie, but I guess Julie also wanted to be recognized as a real person.

Once you have given yourself a female name then Julie to me is born, you can't imagine how confusing it was at first, but getting to grow with Julie is like having a best friend with you at all times, so I can't just switch her off, I can't stop, and I don't want too, I think even Sigmund Freud would have trouble with it. But also it can be expensive having two wardrobes!

I have been dressing as Julie for about forty years now, and it has not been easy, for most of it has been a secret, why? I think it's because most people don't understand what you are going through, and they are quick to give you a label, so they can try to identify with you, but even I don't know this path in my life is going to.

When I was a (Chubby) baby and my mother took me out in my pram (I hated those straps!) I was commented a lot on as being a girl, I don't know if my mother corrected them or just excepted the comment, but I had a normal childhood and grew up in a normal family environment with parents and brothers and sisters growing up as a boy playing with a normal boy's toys, I didn't have an urge to hold tea parties or have a dolly, but some girls don't have either.

I was almost caught by my mother once, if you think your mother doesn't know she probably does, and she threatens me by taking me to the doctors, if it ever when that far I'm not quite sure what the doctor would have done, perhaps given me a pill or electrotherapy to cure me! Furthermore, I tried to imagine what he would have said to me: “He is a confused little boy and will grow out of it” Ha! Got it wrong. As far as I am aware there is no cure for being transgender, I am happy being me or should that be us? Nowadays being transgender is not shunned but encouraged and being who you are! Perhaps she should have taken me to the doctors, perhaps I would be full-time Julie now.

 

Looking back, I don't think my mother would fully understand why I crossed dressed, I guess she wanted her little boy to grow up and get married and have children etc... I wish she did because it could have been our little secret and I would have learnt a lot and would give me the freedom to find my inner self even if it was just being able to walk around the house as a girl as she called my name Julie! And help her do the girly things a mother and daughter would do together, which I think would have brought us much closer together. I have been exploring Julie's World for a while now, and it does open your eyes to being the opposite sex, not just being able to wear female clothes but being feminine and showing that you are feminine as well.

 

A lot of it comes down to confidence and when you have to open the front door and take that first step there is no going back, you have to remember that women do it every day without thinking about it so why should I do the same. I like this quote from Abraham Lincoln, I don't think he was into cross-dressing, but it would not surprise me, anyway he said:

"You can fool all the people some of the time

and some of the people all the time,

but you cannot fool all the people all the time."

Abraham Lincoln                                  

The only thing I would change is "Fool", I'm not trying to fool anyone but just be excepted as a transgender person being able to choose what sex I want to be and going out and enjoying it. Anyway if I did change my sex I would have to live as a woman full time for at least two years, I would just do want a woman does every day, in a way it almost feels like being ashamed of being a woman, but there is nothing wrong in being a woman!

 

I'm not hurting anyone! So what does the future hold for Julie, I have thought about it many times about having a sex change, but that is a very big step to make, and I think I would be happy being Julie full time, but once you have the operation it is impossible to change back but at the moment I have the best of both worlds and who knows what the future holds for Julie. Never say Never!